Spectre Review

What I liked: Bond is back in the gadgets. The Michael Craig iteration of Bond has been very sleek very compact and on the cool gadget spectrum closer to Borne than to Mission Impossible. Bond gets a cool car again and a few other cool props, this is more than he has had in the past three movies; really a defibrillator in your glove compartment doesn't count as a cool spy gadget, it qualifies you for certification as a part time ambulance. The second most frequent question I asked was "What is that and where did he get it?" Like all good spy movies, Spectre took us around the world. We got to see famous cities and beautiful scenery, all delightfully traffic free to facilitate exciting chase scenes. Spectre makes jokes, it recognizes what you expect after 50 years of watching Bond movies and delivers something else. This is especially true in the Rome car chase. Most of these funny moments landed well but since the Craig iteration of Bond takes itself so seriously, some of them definitely misfired and seemed out of place. The plan started in Skyfall to bring back more things that we recognize from old Bond movies continues. We have Money Penny and the car and some other fun bits, I think we may have met the new Jaws. I also liked the performances of Q and M I thought that they sold their parts well even though they didn't get much screen time.
What I didn't: The most frequent question I posed during the movie was "Who thought this was a good idea?!" Let's start with some of the more obvious ones and build up to the trickier ones. Item 1, who in the British government approved the hiring for the intelligence agencies? I feel like in general if you get applications from Moriarty and Lord Voldermort the rule of thumb is to offer them the job. If this is the degree of intelligence and background checks the UK has access to, maybe they really do need the intelligence sharing program. Item 2, when founding the secret society named Spectre who decided that the mascot should be an octopus instead of a ghost or maybe a specter? This leads me to a major disappointment: the opening credits. Bond movies need cool opening sequences. They need cool music. The opening was unrelated to the movie, the song was not cool. The thematic octopus was poorly CGed. If you are going to open your movie with an octopus you could at least use a real one. Item 3, about 86% of the characters on screen are assassins and yet they are all really bad at killing people. It just seems incredibly unprofessional to not check to see if the mark is actually dead, four times in a row. Item 4, speaking of people not doing their jobs, the workers responsible for constructing the secret base clearly did not make the complex to code and those responsible for demolition of the MI6 building were incredibly careless with their nets and demo lines. Item 5, speaking of secret bases, I have some concerns about living conditions there. There were clearly several hundred people there but the closest grocery store was apparently about half a continent away. I just feel like this is an economically and environmentally irresponsible plan. Item 6, but clearly planning was not a forte of our bad guy. He boasted being the mastermind of the last few movies, but he has no clear motivation or end game. What exactly was he trying to accomplish? Finally, just a few technical notes. What was up with the color balance? The yellow levels were way too high. It was like they were trying to imitate the colors of the 1940's but didn't commit the whole way. I also didn't like the Bond girl. She wasn't a glamorous beauty in absurd bond outfits. She wasn't an awesome spy able to hold her own in a world of spies and assassins. She wasn't the innocent civilian caught up in plans too big for her. They tried to make her all these things at once and consequently made no sense.
Who should watch this: Bond fans. They probably all already have
Would I watch it again? No